This Phuket newbie guide was written to help clear up some of the misconception that I have read stating Phuket is only a family resort.  It started initially as a cut-and-paste out of various emails I have sent, and evolved into this "draft" Newbie Guide.  There is a LOT more Sanuk to Phuket, than just the small amount that I have placed here in this "Guide", and further input to various Sanuk venues in Phuket is requested, especially in the areas of Phuket Town, Karon Beach, and Kata Beach (plus any other areas such as Laguna).

My Thanks to fast-freddie, JJ(Lookme) and others, who have contributed directly, or indirectly to this guide.  If you feel that you should be given credit for a section and I haven't given you the credit, then send me an email, make note of the section where you want credit, and I'll give credit where credit is due.  I don't want to slight anyone, I honestly did not keep records of names in most cases when I put together the material.

The vast majority of the material is from my own experience when I lived in Phuket.  Please email me (void1954@hotmail.com) directly with any corrections [ok], inputs [yes please!] or complaints [sigh]. I update this every couple of months (or when I get the time).

Enjoy the life.

Void



PHUKET THAILAND - A NEWBIE GUIDE
[Last updated 6 April 2001]

Introduction

Patong Beach

Phuket Town Other Areas

Introduction

Some thoughts on Phuket, ... It has a reputation as being a family resort, or a resort for couples.  But trust me when I say it is much more than just a location for couples.

No need to bring your own girlfriend with you

If you fly to Bangkok (BKK) first, on your way to Phuket, and if you mention to the women you meet in BKK that you are going to Phuket, many of them will ask to go with you.  Unless she is a real stunning knockout, I would turn her down (politely). Say you are on business, or something else.   Phuket  has its own supply of attractive women, and there is no need to bring your own with you, so to speak.

Pattaya instead of Phuket?

If one is also considering Pattaya instead of Phuket, the choice between Pattaya, or Phuket, depends mainly on  to what you want to do in Thailand, and on depends on your budget.  Phuket is more expensive than either Bangkok or Pattaya, although most things (even in Phuket) should be cheap by western standards.

If your budget is tight, and if you are only interested in drinking and sleeping/recovering during the day, and then at night drinking and chasing women (while under a tight budget) then Pattaya is undoubtedly the place to go IMHO.

If you wish to do the above, and to have the option to play tourist a bit during the day (via swimming, sun-tanning on the beach, scuba diving, snorkeling, jet skiing, kayaking, horseback riding, golfing, bungi jumping, visiting a shooting range, racing go-karts, visiting surrounding islands, etc…), then Phuket is the place to go.

Pattaya has more women, and it is cheaper than Phuket.  But Phuket still has more than an ample supply of women, so it really boils down to your budget and your day time wishes.

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PATONG BEACH - PHUKET

Unless you want to stay somewhere isolated, the best place to stay in Phuket (if you are a westerner) is Patong Beach.  It is a reasonably central location for lots of daytime activities, and it has the best nightlife in Phuket for westerners.  Patong Beach is also good for Asians, although Phuket Town also has many attractions that tends to interest Asians more.

Soi Bangla Map:
Soi Bangla, Patong Beach MAP
The heart of the action in Patong Beach is on the side streets on the northern side of Soi Bangla.   Soi Bangla runs perpendicular to the Beach Road (the proper name for the Beach Road is Thawiwong Road).  The northern side streets, with most of the Beer-Bars and A-Go-Go-Bars, are Soi Crocodile (often called Soi Kataoy now adays), Soi Gonzo, Soi Eric, and Soi Sea Dragon.

Soi Easy - under construction in Sep 2000Bangla Night Plaza - in Sep 2000 construction is just finishing on the top area
As I write this report, Soi Bangla Center is being replaced by Soi Easy.  [It is mislabelled in the above map as Soi Rose Bar].  There may also be some open air bars opening on the top of Bangla Night Plaza.

There are lots of beer bars in those streets, and Soi Sea Dragon in particular has many of Patong's Go-Go-Bars.  In addition, on Soi SeaDragon, are many beer bars, outdoor bars, and restaurants/bars.

I assume the reader knows the difference between Beer-Bars and A-Go-Go-Bars, so I won't go into that.  I also assume the reader knows about a lady-drink, a bar-fine, long-time(LT), short-time(ST), etc… and what they entail.   If you don't know, find out before you go to Thailand.

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Go-Go-Bars

Many of Phuket's A-Go-Go-Bars in Phuket can be found on Soi Sea Dragon, Soi Eric, Soi-Bangla (Rock Hard), and Soi Sunset.

Soi Eric has Flash A-Go-Go, Soi Bangla has Rock Hard A-Go-Go, and Soi Sunset has a number of A-Go-Go Bars, including Extasy A-Go-Go.  The Valhalla A-Go-Go was closed in March 2001, due to an improper Hotel licence, and also possibly due to some alledged cases of underage teenagers being co-erced into prostitution.

Valhalla Entertainment Complex - as seen from Soi SunsetEntrance to Valhalla A-Go-Go (just behind those curtains)Valhalla Entertainment Complex - business cardmap showing location of Valhalla Entertainment Complex

The largest concentration of Go-Go-Bars may be on Soi Sea Dragon, and they include:

The Go-Go-Bars I like are PlaySchool (in Soi Sea Dragon) and Rock Hard (at the non-beach end of Soi Bangla, on the intersection with Rat-U-Thit Songroi Pi Rd).  But this is a personal opinion, and others may prefer different A-Go-Gos.

Play School A-Go-Go has a theme where the girls dress up in a very risky (short dress) school uniform.  Even though the girls are clearly NOT school age (generally speaking they are much much older), there are some very attractive girls there.  PlaySchool have ST rooms on site (upstairs, and they are terrible).  There is also a ST Hotel on Soi Sea Dragon called "Soi Sea Dragon Guest House".  I haven't tried it out, so I don't know what the rooms look like.

Lipstick A-Go-Go gets a few recommendations on the Internet (it has floor shows).  I normally don't frequent bars that have gross floor shows, so I can't offer any advice on them.  Pink Panther A-Go-Go opens at 3:00pm in the afternoon.

Rock Hard A-Go-Go on Soi Bangla, Patong BeachRock Hard A-Go-Go, Patong Beach
Rock Hard A-Go-Go is probably the best Go-Go Bar in Phuket, … it is the largest in size and has the largest selection of women.  Rock Hard used to have a "happy hour" from 8:00pm to 9:00pm, where drinks were half price.  That means around 40 Baht ($2 US) for a beer.  Because Rock Hard is in such a prominent location, it usually gets a good mix of male westerners, Asian male tourists (mainly Japanese and Chinese), some western couples, and on occasion a single western women.  Rock Hard also purportedly has a floor show that starts around 10:00pm.  I am told their show is a bit more tasteful than most of the other floor shows in some of the Patong Beach A-Go-Gos.

Flash A-Go-Go (at the end of Soi Eric) gets many excellent reviews.  Flash A-Go-Go purportedly has an Italian owner, while "Eric" is a German who purportedly owns most of Soi Eric.  Flash also offers floor shows, and since I don't like "floor shows" (with the women doing bizarre things to their body) I never frequented Flash.  [I outgrew that fascination years ago, after the first and only show that I watched].  But, if you are curious, you could go there once, just to see it first hand. And if you like it, keep going back.  Purportedly the quality of women in Flash is as good as Rock Hard, … some say better.  Don't be surprised to see a western man and his wife in a place such as Flash, or alternatively, in the scummiest bar you have ever seen, checking out the night life.  Many go inside because they are curious, … sometimes they leave quickly in disgust.

Afternoon A-Go-Go's.  In the afternoon (opening around 3:00pm) are two A-Go-Go's.  There is Pink Panther on Soi Sea Dragon, and there is Valhalla toward the end of Soi Sunset.  They both advertise that they have around 10 girls present.  In Sep 2000, at around 4:00pm, I spotted around 7 girls in Valhalla A-Go-Go, and 3 in Pink Panther A-Go-Go.  But Pink Panther was very dark inside, my eyes were still adjusting to the dark (after the bright sunshine outside), I only just stuck my head in, and I could have missed some girls "hiding in the corner".  Note that the Valhalla A-Go-Go was closed toward the end-of-March-2001, and may not be re-opening for a while.

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Beer Bars

Phuket has many beer bars on the very small side "streets" (Soi Crocodile, Soi Eric, Soi Sea Dragon, and Soi Gonzo) that are accessed only from the north side of Soi Bangla.  There is construction going on in Soi Easy (replaces Soi Bangla Center) and also there is the new Bangla Night Plaza, where there may be beer bars opening??  I read one estimate of there being around 150 beer-bars in Phuket, with on average of 6 girls per bar.  Hence lots of girls to chose from.

I recommend you just wander around these beer bars, looking at the bar setup and at the women hanging around the bar.  Wander until you find a bar with one or more women that you like.  The women will try hard to get you to stop at their bar for a drink.   Some will wave at you, others ask you "Bye nye?" (Where are you going), … and some will grab you and try to physically drag you to their bar.  When they grab you, don't get upset.  Just play along.  When they grab me, I like to assume a ball-room dance position, and proceed to waltz with them a bit.  This invariably gets a laugh.   And then I smile, let them go, and usually point to the toilet, or something like that, and I carry on.  If I see a few especially attractive girls collocated in one beer-bar, I will stop there for a drink. ….

The Thai's like to play around, and it is important not to forget this.  As long as you are willing to joke and play, you will have a great time.

Once you buy a drink for a girl in a bar, it is hard to switch to someone else.  So be reasonably selective who you buy drinks for.  An alternative (but more expensive) approach is to buy drinks for many, and then there is no worry about being selective, as clearly you can't take them all.  Or, you can buy a drink for one girl, and then put her to work, tactfully enlisting her help in picking the real girl you want.

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Discos (in Patong Beach)

SHARK CLUB DISCO.
Shark Club Disco, Patong BeachShark Club Disco - signShark Club Disco - map showing location
Located at the south-east end of Soi Bangla, and just down the intersection.  At around the closing time for the bars (12:00 midnight to 2:00am) Shark Club Disco starts to pick up [it will be absolutely dead before then].  There are two levels to shark club disco, where the top level is sort of a balcony that over looks the lower level.  There are go-go dancers at the far end (stage??) area of shark club disco.  I read one report that stated these girls can be bar fined!  But that is about it for bar-fines, as every one else is either a free lancer, tourist, local, or expat in the disco.

The Shark Club Disco, (and the other discos, such as Banana Disco and Safari Disco) will be full of a mix of Thai bar girls, and tourists (both men and women).  Usually the women tourists are with boyfriends or husbands, although there will be the occasional Japanese female tourist.   The Japanese women are often sex tourists themselves, and many go to Phuket looking for Thai men, … the occasional one has been known to pick up a westerner (although it helps if you speak some Japanese, like some of the Thai men).  If you get the chance, don't turn down the opportunity to spend time with one!

There is no bar fine associated with picking up a Thai girl in the disco, but depending on the girl, she may or may not want a tip for going back to your room with you.  Some of the girls in the Disco's are NOT pro's, so be polite and don't assume too much.

The discos tend to have a coverage charge (around 100 baht) that often includes the price of a drink.  Currently (as of September 2000), Shark Club Disco is the more popular of the Patong Discos.

Banana Disco
Banana Disco signHappy Hour at Banana Disco
Banana Disco is another well known disco in Patong Beach (on the beach road, close to Patong Beach Resort Hotel).  The downstairs is a pretty casual bar.  Upstairs has loud pounding music, expensive drinks, and Thai women on the prowl.

Tai Pan Disco
Tai Pan Disco, Patong BeachTai Pan Disco, Patong Beach
Tai Pan Disco is a real late night "hot spot", and it is often going strong when the others are closing.  At around 1:00pm (sometimes much later) Tai Pan Disco, at the entrance to Soi Sunset, will start to hop.  Many of the bar-girls, a-go-go-girls, and tourists from other bars and discos, will migrate here when everything else starts to close.

There is also a Disco at the end of Soi Sunset called Titanic Disco, however I have never visited the place, and I do not know what sort of crowd it attracts (it could be Kataoys for all I know).

In addition, there is Safari Disco (on the southern edge of Patong, about one third the way to Karon Beach).  It starts going at around 10:00pm, and goes until 2:00am.  You will need to take a Tuk-Tuk, or other transport, to get there.

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Soi Sunset

PS Hotel - Soi Sunset - Tai Pan DiscoStreet entrance to Soi Sunset, Patong Beach
Every night, around bar closing time, Soi Sunset picks up activity, as many bar-girls go there, looking for fun, and maybe to find a man (see above images of Tai Pan Disco).  To find Soi Sunset you walk to the end of Soi Bangla (to the intersection where Rock Hard A-Go-Go is located), walk straight across the street, turn left onto Rat-U-Thit Songroi Pi Road, and turn right where the PS Hotel is located, where there will be another street, called Soi Sunset.  You can start with Vienna Bar on the right and Saloon Bar on the left

Explore this street around 1:00am to 3:00am (or later) in the morning.  There is a cafe that is purportedly open for 24 hours, toward the end of the Soi.

Tai Pen is the disco inside Soi Sunset.  It is opposite Rock Hard A-Go-Go, and it often starts "hopping" in the wee hours of the morning.

There are also other areas with Beer Bars (notably one located between Soi Bangla and Sawatdirak Road, accessed off of the Beach Road).

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Regular Bars

Baan Rim Pa Restaurant/Bar - Phuket Islands most expensive restaurantPhuket is a resort that has many families, and couples visit, and hence there are a very large number of regular bars associated with the hotels, and many open air bars along the various streets (Beach Road, and Soi Bangla).  In these bars there are NO thai women on the hunt for men.  But some of these bars pack a good crowd, and have live music.  There is a slight chance there may be single female Japanese (or western) tourists present.  Some examples of this in Phuket are the Boathouse (in Kata Beach), the bar in the Novotel (Patong Beach), the bar in the Holiday Inn (Patong Beach), and the Baan Rim Pa Restaurant/Bar (in Patong Beach).  Phuket town has its own section of bars, and I will go into that below (in the Phuket Town section).

Baan Rim Pa (in Patong Beach) has a reputation for jazz, blues, and swing.  It is also probably Phuket's most expensive restaurant to eat.  The last time I visited there were half-a-dozen attractive single (?) female Japanese tourists having supper (in groups of 2 girls).  And off Beach Rd in Patong Beach is Molly Malone's Irish Pub, which is usually packed at night with people, even in the off season.

And most of the large Hotel complexes, which are isolated from the major beaches, have bars and live music.  Some of it is quite good, but getting to these hotels can be a bother.

The above places are only a sample of what is available.  Just like any city, it depends on unknown factors (such as the height of the tide, the stars in the sky, the day of the week, the direction of the wind, etc) as to which places will be more popular than others.  What was true yesterday, may be different tomorrow.  I offer no guarantees.

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Kataoys

A few words about Kataoys (lady boys).  Phuket, Pattaya, and Bangkok are full of them, pretty much everywhere. Some areas have more than others.  They dress up, and have operations, such that they look very close to a real woman.  From the back, they have the bone structure of a sexy caucasian women.

Take some time (while you are sober) to learn how to tell them apart from regular women, and you will be OK.  [things to look for are: how they walk, their height, their adams apple, a larger head, larger hands, a mustache or beard starting to show in the early AM, a squeaky type of voice, etc...].

I used to find them irritating, … but now I have a lot of fun joking with them for a few minutes or longer, usually during the first or second day, at the start of my visit, before I resume my hunt for real women.  Some of the Kataoys speak good english, and can offer good advice as to where regular/hot Thai women can be found in Phuket.

Those who are curious can find the Kataoys in Patong Beach on Soi Bangla (at the entrance to Soi Crocodile -  now called Soi Kataoy), at the Andaman Queen club (at the end of Soi Kataoy), and at Simon Cabaret (just south of Patong Beach) where they purportedly put on an incredible cabaret show.  There are also other areas (one street in particular) where they can be found, but detailing that sort of information is not the intention of this Newbie Guide.

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ST Hotels

If for some reason you are not staying in Patong Beach, and you want to go Short Time (ST) with a girl, or if you have a wife/girlfriend waiting in your room, then you can always take a girl to an ST Hotel.

Some of the bars located at Soi SeaDragon have rooms at second floor (like PlaySchool), but otherwise, many ladies go to the Soi SeaDragon guesthouse.  I have read no reports on the quality of these rooms.

Soi SansabaiCadillac Mansion on Soi Sansabai, Patong BeachCadillac Mansion - sign on Soi SansabaiCadillac Mansion - Large room with King Sized Bed
Cadillac Mansion, on Soi Sansabai, is the ST hotel that I used to frequent.  84/10 Soi Sansabai.  The hotel has 15 rooms. 1 Suite with a kitchen, large living area and a marble bathroom with a four person bathtub [NOT for Short Time]. 10 large rooms with king size beds and windows. 4 small rooms with queen size beds.  Price 500 baht ST (for a few hours), 1500 baht all night.  Phone: 66-76-341-199.  Email:  cadillac@loxinfo.co.th.

The hotel may be for sale, but don't let that fool you, as the rooms are quite nice, coming with wet bar and TV (albeit the rooms are not up to Bangkok's PlayBoy Short-Time-Hotel quality).  I have also read they may have one or more sub-standard rooms that are real dives.  In over a dozen visits to Cadillac, I have never seen these sub-standard rooms.  However, if you end up with one of these, I would suggest heading back to reception and asking for a better room.

Sansabai Bungalows
Sansabai Hotel sign (on the street)Sansabai Bungalow entrance
Sansabai Bungalows is another ST Hotel.   171/21 Soi Sansabai; Phone: 66-76-342-948/9.  Fax:66-76-344888. They are located down the Soi Sansabai (at the end).  To the left is a parking space and to the right one will find the Sansabai Bungalow. Price varies from 450 to 550 baht.  The bungalows are small.  Equipped with TV and big refrigerator.  They are very private.

Valhalla ST Rooms.
VIP Room in Valhalla
Toward the end of Soi Sunset is Valhalla Entertainment Complex, which also has 8 rooms available in a small hotel.  If there are any rooms vacant, they can be rented out as an ST Hotel room for a few hours.  In low season I was quoted a rate of 300 baht (for a couple hours).  If possible, go for the VIP room, as its large jacuzzi gives it some character (see above image).  Note that the Valhalla was closed toward the end of March 2001, and may not be re-opening for a while.

Scams

And while I am giving advice, if someone wants a lot of money from you for anything in Thailand, it is possibly a scam, so be careful.  A classic scam run by the Kataoys (on Soi Bangla) is to ask you to take their picture.  After taking their picture, they will hound you and insist you pay them money (200 to 500 baht - or so).

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Soapy Massage Parlour - Patong Beach

CHRISTIN

Patong Beach has one good "Turkish Bath" soapy massage parlour, and that is Christin.
Christin Massage, Patong Beach, Amphur Kathu, Phuket 83150; Phone 340369; Fax 340189

Christin Massage Parlour - Patong BeachSign for Christin Massage ParlourAnother view of Christin Massage Parlour
Christin is located almost half way between Soi Bangla and Ruamchai Road (south of Soi Bangla) along Rat-U-Thit Songroi Pi Road.  If you walk up (away from the beach) Soi Bangla, at the end you will find Rock Hard A-Go-Go on your left, and Shark Club Disco on your right.  Turn right, walk past Shark Club Disco, and continue walking 4 or 5 blocks down Rat-U-Thit Songroi Pi Road.  Eventually on your right you will come across a large 5 or 6 story building, with the sign Christin.  If you can't find it, take a motorbike taxi or Tuk-Tuk, but you will be embarrassed how close it is.  Don't pay more than 50 to 100 baht to get there, as the place is only a short 10 minute walk (maybe less) from Soi Bangla.

Typical room in Christin Massage Parlour
If you want to try out such a massage parlour, then I recommend you go to Christin on the 1st or 2nd day you get to Phuket.  Check out the girls, but don't feel obligated to try out one yet. However if there is a real looker there, be certain to go for it.  Christin is hit-or-miss. Sometimes there is an incredible selection, other times it is crap.  Just try every night (or second night), and I think you are bound to hit gold sooner or later.  Another approach is to ask the momasans (or popasans) which girl gives the best service.  If you want something special, mention it.  Sometimes they will recommend one, sometimes they won't.  Their recommendations are usually good.

Also, if you connect and have real chemistry with your chosen girl in Christin, you may be able to talk her into meeting you at Shark Club Disco, or Tai Pan Disco, after she finishes work.

If you have lots of energy, you could hit a Massage Parlour at around 5:00pm or 6:00pm (or earlier), then Short-Time a girl from a Go-Go/Beer Bar at around 10:00pm, and still have time to hit a disco or Soi Sunset at 2:00am, dragging someone back from there for Long Time.

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To Butterfly or not to Butterfly

Many guys, after a few days, will find one girl and stick with her.   Sometimes I butterfly (try different girls every day and night), other times, if there is strong chemistry, I will stick with one girl.

But it is entirely up to you.  Just remember that Thai girls can get jealous, and it is best if you try not to make them lose face by dragging someone else by them who you have bar fined, the night after you dragged them back to your hotel.  And definitely do NOT go back to their bar and bar-fine someone else.  That is considered a major insult.

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Negotiations

Also, most of the time I prefer to negotiate up front what I want/expect from a girl if she is going back to my room (how long? 1 hr? 2 hrs? 3 hrs?, when will you leave?  7:00am, 8:00am, 9:00am, 10:00am, etc... exactly what we will do? [when she says "up to you" go into details for her], how many times, etc…).  Don't be shy, most these girls have heard everything.  It might prevent a disappointment from happening.  And it can be a real laugh at times.  Other guys I have talked to prefer not to, and instead they rather wait until the girl starts asking (I do this myself on occasion as well).  Both methods have their merits, and its up to you as to your approach.

The price that one pays will vary.  Remember this is Phuket and not Pattaya, nor Bangkok.  You won't necessary be able to get away with paying the same "low" price you pay there.  In Phuket I have found 1500 baht is typical for ST, and 2500 baht is typical for LT.  However, depending on chemistry, ones cleanliness, ones youth, and ones looks, the price may be significantly more, or significantly less.  I've read claims by other who state in Phuket they pay only 1000 baht for ST, and 1500-2000 baht for LT.

All Thai girls will want to shower before they hop into bed (and so should you).  If she doesn't want to shower, then it is very unusual.  I would try to find out why before you do anything else.

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US Navy
Shark Disco welcomes the US Navy
Every now the US Navy will show up in town (ie in Patong Beach).  When that happens, don't panic.  Even though, with all the sailors walking around, it can mean that prices might go up slightly, and it may also mean the girls could be a bit harder in their negotiation(s), there will also often be more girls around, as many make a special trip to Patong, just to take advantage of all the eligible sailors.  I also read one account that stated the best time to visit is the last couple days of a US Navy trip.  The sailors are now mostly broke, they are tired from all their revellry, and they are no longer hitting visiting Patong Beach as much.  But the excess number of girls are still present, looking for company, making it a great time to find many attractive girls.

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Women Sex Tourists

In Phuket there are also women sex tourists.  They tend to be significantly more discrete than the male tourists, they are a lot less in number, but they are there never-the-less.  Many of them are Japanese women, who like to go for the Thai "beach-bums".  I've also been told stories (by both bar girls and massage parlour girls) of western (gay) women who will try to bar fine them.  And finally, back in 1990, I remember listening (during a shared van ride to the airport) of a reasonably attractive Australian women complain how the Thai man she was screwing during her one week holiday, kept wanting so much money from her.  (She called him a "guide" who she was also happened to be "intimate" with.)  She kept "loaning" him money daily until the last day, when he wanted too much money at the end (there was an illness in his family??).  Of course, he never paid back the "loans".  From her point of view he should have been paying her money (she actually said that).

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PHUKET TOWN

Massage Parlour - Phuket Town

Grand Plaza Massage
Grand Plaza Massage Parlour entrance/parking lotTypical room in Grand Plaza Massage Parlour
[Tel: 66-76-214-922]  This is the massage parlour in Phuket Island that I used to like the most.  It is located behind the Thavorn Grand Plaza Hotel in Phuket Town.  To get there you can rent a car and drive to Phuket town, or try and negotiate some other form of transport.  But a Tuk-Tuk could cost you up somewhere between 300 to 500 baht (one way) to get to Phuket Town.  If you negotiate transport, ask to be taken to Robinsons Department store, and then walk from Robinsons.  I don't know if Grand Plaza pays a commission to Taxi/Tuk Tuk drivers, and it is best not to find out.  Grand Plaza massage is to the north east of Robinsons, across the street, and down/recessed about 50 yards.  It has a large dirt parking lot, with an informal security gate, and it is recessed from the street.  It is open from 14:00-24:00 on weekdays; and from 12:00-24:00 on saturday and sunday.

While Grand Plaza has been my favourite Massage Parlour in Phuket Island (due to selection of girls), I find it is starting to look a little run down, and it needs a facelift.

Pearl Hotel Massage
Pearl Hotel Massage parlour - signPearl Hotel - signMap of the core of Phuket Town - look for Pearl Hotel and Grand Plaza
Pearl Hotel Massage parlour is also another turkish bat/soapy massage type place.  It is located within the Pearl Hotel.  It has a VERY small "fish tank", and the rooms where one goes are regular hotel rooms, with only a very small bath tub.  Not as good a place as Grand Plaza (in Phuket Town) nor as good as Christin (in Patong Beach).

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Discos - Phuket Town:

Timber and Rock.  It used to be called Timber Hutt.  There is lots of seating space, and not much of a dance floor.  Timber and Rock is fairly popular and frequented mainly by the local Thai's, along with some of the local ex-Pat crowd.  Few tourists will ever visit this place, as it is far from the tourist attractions, and definitely out of the way.  One either needs a vehicle, or is stuck with an expensive taxi/tuk-tuk ride to visit here.

Sugar [reported by JJ (LOOKMEE) from Delphi/NanaPlaza.com].  It is also located in Phuket Town and is worth checking out.  I could not find it on my last visit to Phuket, although I did read about a place called Candy Pub, located near Robinson's in Phuket town.  The resident band plays modern Thai and European pop tunes.

Both Timer and Rock and Sugar are very late places (except for Monday / Sunday nights when its quieter). The crowd dress normally.  If one wears jeans/t-shirt, they should feel Ok.  Thongs and shorts may not be accepted.

Other interesting bars in Phuket Town are: The Royal Phuket City Hotel, Gitano's Latino Cafe (opposite McDonalds and has live [latino??] music twice a week), and a few places the younger local Thais like to visit are BeBop (on Takuarpa Rd), Climax, and Sparks Night Club.

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Other Night Life - Phuket Town:

Phuket Town has lots of other night life activity (massage, discos, Karaoke Bars, etc…), but this tends to be more for the Asian crowd.

A large portion of the following Phuket Town material originates from JJ (LOOKMEE) from Delphi/NanaPlaza.com [although it has been edited by me].

Member Club:

Pink Chamois Member Club.  Located in the basement of the Metropole hotel.  There is a lounge where one drinks prior to selecting a girl.  Drinks are VERY expensive, as are the girls.  Prices are from 2500 to 3500 for short time (3 hours) and for all night almost double that.  But the standard of girl (beauty and conversation) is very high.  This place caters more to the local and Asian crowd.  Very few girls speak english.  Purportedly it is best to show up around 8:00pm, before the "best" girls are taken.  Giving the Momasan a VERY large tip right as soon as one enters is one technique I read, that helps getting 1st class service.

Pink Lady Club.  Located in a shophouse at AR Mini shopping complex on Montri Road.  It has 2 levels of women.  The experience is better if one speaks Thai.  If one goes with driver or guide, the charge will be more.

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Phoonpon Plaza area.  There are many sanuk spots:

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Thai style Cafes

Bo Luang Cafe and Pink Lady Cafe

These are the two oldest (and purportedly the best) Thai cafes in Phuket Town.  The ladies wear clothes that are fairly sexy: short skirts and tight tops.  They will sit with clients for drinks (fairly inexpensive).  Almost any TukTuk driver will know where to find the places. These places appeal more to locals.

The routine in these Cafes:  They can have very attractive ladies in these Cafes.  The ladies will sit with the customers, and the customers have to "court" the ladies, which will take some time.  A lot depends on whether the client is a big spender. The ladies working at these places all get a large basic pay per month.  In addition, they have to earn "flowers" from the clients. If they do not get enough flowers, money is deducted off their pay (for not meeting target) and they end up with much less money.  Hence they appreciate being bought lots of flowers.  Don't buy the girls flowers unless you buy them at least 50 (500 bahts). Buying 5 flowers has no impact, so don't waste money.  If a client is determined, they will usually go with the client, but not usually on the first night. Some hard to get women make a customer wait all season.

Some advice (from JJ (LOOKMEE) from Delphi/NanaPlaza.com):  "Ask the "captain" to tell the singer to seat with you before you buy flowers. Always buy her flowers when she is "out of turn" in singing on stage so that she short cuts other girls and the flowers will be presented when she is singing. The girls appreciate clients who use this approach.  Buying a singer flowers when she is singing "in turn" is wasting ones money, as it has no impact.

Also, unless one is prepared to be a big spender, and there is already some chemistry/rapport with the girl (discovered when she sits at your table), don't waste your money.  Success with these singers can improve with experience, good local assistance from local friends and being a big spender with the new singers (who are seeking money and attention). They will always try to drink soft drinks when they sit with you but entice them and make them drink alcohol with you in a nice way. You can bring your own bottles of whisky with a small cover charge (200-300 baht) or order a bottle there at the cafe. The girls will drink whisky and coke.  There is a charge for mix and ice (which is how the cafes make money). Don't be stingy if you want to succeed in Thai cafes.

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Brothels:

One ASFO (Saipan Thaihound - 1999) report suggested there is a an entire street of 300 Baht brothels [500 baht/night in 1999], where the girls seat in various colour chairs, according to price.  The street is in the south end of Phuket Town, 4 blocks north of the Silver Hotel.  Across from the Silver Hotel is purported (Saipan Thaihound) one 300 Baht brothel.  From the Hotel turn right, walk 100m and "find the little street behind the big metal pumping apparatus".  The rooms are purported pretty run down.  This district caters mainly to Thai's and some Asian tourists.  I don't know if Falangs would be accepted there.

The Siam Hotel also has a seedy reputation.  Purportedly, up on the 2d or 3d floor one can go into the room of any woman for a BJ for about 300 Baht.  Again, this place caters to locals, and I don't know if Falangs would be accepted here.

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OTHER AREAS

Both Karon and Kata Beach have many "regular bars", that are good for taking a girlfriend.  They also have a small number of beer bars, where Thai ladies can be found.  However the action in these beaches is very small, and laid back, and if you are into lots of excitement, they may not be the place for you.

However Karon and Kata have a number of excellent restaurants, and one could spend time visiting all the different restaurants over a 2 week period, and only scratch the surface.

Another great place to eat, where many of the locals go, is Rawai Beach.  Food is served in classic Thai open air style.  On a nice day one can sit in the shadow under the trees and enjoying the breathtaking view of the Andaman Sea and Thai fishing boats departing and arriving. Prices are very attractive and the quality is very good. To get there one will need a car.

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OTHER ACTIVITIES

Phuket has many other activities.  There is Phuket Fantasea (a great, but expensive "extravaganza" that advertises itself as a "Las Vegas style show"), and various Hotel Bars with singers and bands.

During the day, activities include (but are not restricted to) visiting temples [such as Wat Chalong or in the Phuket Town subdistrict of Talat Yai], golfing (4 top-class golf courses), bunji jumping, jet-skiing, fire weapons at a shooting range, go-kart racing, kayaking, deep sea fishing, elephant safari riding, horseback riding, bowling, boat rides to surrounding islands, scuba diving, snorkeling, sun bathing and swimming.  The movie theater in Phuket town is crummy, and it rarely has an english sound track film.  But with a fabulous environment like exists in Phuket, who wants to go watch the movies?

For more information go to some of the many tour companies in Patong, and ask around for what they have.

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Traditional Massage

You also may wish to try a traditional (non-sex) Thai massage.  The first couple of times you try this, you may find it painful and unpleasant, but after a couple of occasions, you will probably begin to appreciate a traditional massage.  There are places EVERYWHERE(!) in Phuket that give a traditional massage.  Some will give a hand job at the end of the massage, some will not.  I have NOT investigated this venue.

The place I liked best in Phuket for a traditional massage (where there is normally NO sex) in Phuket Town is located inside the Hotel Metropole (on the 3rd or 4th floor).  The price is only 250 baht (maybe less) for a great 2 hour traditional massage.  They also have an affiliated place opening on the basement (with an external entrance).

You can also get a massage while you lie on the beach!  Quality is not as good as Metropole, but most things are worth experiencing once.

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Thai Boxing (Mua Thai)

If you enjoy watching the martial arts at all, then you MUST watch some Thai boxing while you are in Thailand.  There two places where I have gone to watch Thai Boxing are the demonstration bouts off of Soi Bangla (from 9:00pm to 11:00pm every night) in Phuket Simon Shopping Arcade, and the REAL Thai boxing in Phuket Town's Sapanhin Boxing Stadium, every Friday night.

Demonstration Mua Thai in Phuket Simon Shopping Arcade, Soi Bangla, Phuket Townmore Thai Boxing in Phuket Simon Shopping Arcade, Patong BeachAn unusual scene in the demonstration Boxing ... down for the count?
The Demonstration Thai Boxing in Patong Beach (at the Phuket Simon Shopping Arcade) usually consists of 3 rounds, where the fighters demonstrate all offense and no defense.  There often a number of faked knocked downs, followed by amazing recovers and counter attacks.  It is all part of the show, and it is quite enjoyable.  After the "show" the fighters will wander around to EVERY table in the "Vegas Bar" (where you sit and watch from) and they shake your hand.  It is customary to give the boxers a tip, probably a minimum of 20 baht for each boxer.  If you pose for a picture with the boxer I would tip them more.  Take the time to go to the bar, and get change from a 100 or 500 baht note, so you can hand out lots of 20 or 50 baht tips.

Thai Boxing, Phuket Sapanhin Boxing Stadiummore Thai Boxing in Sapanhin Boxing Stadium, Phuket Town... 2 .... 3 .... 4 .... 5 .... count down continuesOut for the count !!
The REAL Thai Boxing takes place in Phuket Town (at Sapanhin Boxing Stadium), which is pretty far away from Patong Beach.   As I stated above, it is held only on Friday nights (starting at 8:00pm, and going on to around midnight).  The "main" event is usually around 10:30pm.  The boxers are usually VERY young, and also very light weight.  But don't let this fool you as to their proficiency; they are often very capable in their ability.
Boxing stadium is at bottom of this Phuket Town map
If you have a car/bike, and drive to Sapanhin Stadium, you will have to pay either 500 baht or 1000 baht for your seat.  1000 baht gives you a front row seat (necessary if you want to take pictures).  But 500 baht also gets you an excellent seat, as the stadium is very small.  If you don't have a car, then most of the tourist travel/tour stands in Patong Beach offer a package deal to watch the Thai Boxing, that includes transportation to/from Patong Beach.  Remember, this is ONLY on FRIDAY NIGHT.  DON'T MISS IT.

Patong Beach Boxing Stadium: There is also a Boxing Stadium marked on the maps of Patong Beach.  It is located on the corner of Sai Nam Yen Rd, and Soi Nai Nai Road.  I suspect this place, if it exists, is frequented strictly by locals, and I have not had checked out the place.

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PATONG BEACH HOTELS

If you want to be close to the night-life action, I recommend you stay in Patong Beach.

November to March is HIGH season in Phuket, and Hotels will be more expensive.  April to October is the LOW (slow) season, and Hotel prices are normally less during this time frame.  Phuket is full of 1st class Hotels, that are absolutely wonderful to stay in, and I will not try to address those terrific hotels in this "newbie guide".

Hotel Joiner Fee

Most of the hotels in Phuket will charge  a "joiner fee" (300 to 1000(!) baht/night) if you try to bring back a girl when you have only booked a single room. If you book (and pay the extra for) a room for two people, you should get your guest in with no problem, and no extra guest/joiner fee. If asked, at check in, for the second person's name, just smile and say she will show up later.

I never tried dragging back two ladies (at the same time) in Phuket, but I believe that will cause problems in most hotels, even if you have a room for two.

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INEXPENSIVE "GUEST" FRIENDLY HOTELS:

There are various inexpensive "guest" friendly hotels in Phuket:  Sand Inn, Expat Hotel, Safari Hotel, PS Hotel, etc.... These hotels are all purported as having no guest/joiner fee, and are all close to Soi Bangla. Note that NONE of these hotels are up to the Holiday Inn (Patong), nor the Patong Beach Hotel standards.  If you are looking for a class (4 star or 5 star) hotel, these HOTELS are NOT for you.

Some notes on some of them:

24 hour coffee shop - bigburger - Expat Bar
Expat:   163/17 Rat-utit Rd. [In fact the Expat is down Soi Sunset].  66-76-342-143 or 66-76-344-023.  Fax: 66-76 340 300.  E-mail: expat@loxinfo.co.th. Get the deluxe rooms to get air conditioning. The rooms are noisy until the bar downstairs closes. No ID checks. Has a small pool.  High season price around 800 baht/night for room with no a/c (only fan); low season price around 550 baht/room.  Deluxe room is about 900/1400 for low/high season prices.  Close to the Expat (and the Expat Bar) is a coffee shop that is purportedly open for 24 hours.

Sand Inn:  171 Rat-uthit Rd. (actually located on Soi Sansanbai).  Phone: 66-76-340275 EMail: sand_inn@samart.co.th. [contact in May 2000 was Khun Sumalee].  Fax: 66-76-341519.  Rooms purportedly nicer than the Expat rooms. It has a restaurant on the ground floor, "guest" friendly but no pool or lift (2 stories). Try not to stay in the rooms on the street level as they are noisy, but they are also the only ones with TV. They also have bungalows.  Price reported at 700 baht per night, with no joiner fee for one girl, but there is purportedly a 300 baht joiner fee for a 2nd girl.

Safari Beach Hotel (sign), on Beach Road, Patong Beach
Safari Beach Hotel:  83/12 Taweewong Rd (also known as the Beach Rd).  Phone: 66-76-341-170/4 or 66-76-340-230.  Rooms purportedly nicer than the Expat rooms and Sand Inn rooms. Great location, close the the beach and the action.  High Season price around 1800 baht/night.  In Sep 2000 I was quoted a low season (walk up to the counter) price of 900 baht/night.

PS Hotel, Patong BeachPS Hotel, Patong Beach
PS Hotel:   157 Rat-utit Rd.  Phone: 66-76-341096 or 66-76-342433.  Fax: 66-76-341097.  Email: info@pshotel.com Rooms purportedly almost the same quality as Safari at 2/3 the price. The rooms are clean, individual aircon in some, minibar, sat.tv (cnn, french and english), bathroom with shower. Inside (aircon)and outside restaurant with western and thai food.  Other facilities are: safety-boxes, tour-desk, laundry-service, international telephone-service.  There is no pool.  A few reviewers suggested it was the best "deal" of the group. Great location, on Soi Sunset, where all the action is after the bars close. A bit further from the beach than the Safari.  High season price around 1250 baht/night for an a/c room.  Price for a room with fan around 1000 baht/night.  Low season price may be around 700 baht/night(?) for a room with a fan, and around 950baht/night for a room with a/c.  Don't get a room with a window facing Soi Sunset, as it will be noisy until the wee hours of the morning.

Patong Family Mansion:   153/15 Rajutit Rd. Tel (66-76)345171/2,  Fax (66-76)345143.  Email: pfm@loxinfo.co.th. Another new, purportedly "guest" friendly hotel is the Patong Family Mansion.  Patong Family Mansion is just around the corner of PS hotel in Soi C&N.  All rooms have air-conditioning, TV, telephone, refrigerator, hot water.  One reviewer claimed he prefered their rooms over the rooms in the PS Hotel.  In the lobby is a small restaurant and a bar. Purportedly run by a dutch man and his thai wife.  The owner (?) was submitting a number of posts on the Internet saying the Hotel was "guest" friendly. Internet rates 500/1200 baht (Low/High season).

Smile Inn:  108/9 Taweewong Rd (also known as the Beach Road).  Phone: 66-76-340455 or 66-76-340386. Fax: 66-76-341911.  Located just behind the Tourist Police office on the beach, in a little entertainment complex with restaurants and shops, and a big, glitzy jewelry emporium in the front.  Has about 10 rooms.  Purported to be a nice hotel, "not luxurious but clean and with a tv".  Price around 1000 baht/night [in tourist season??].

Tropican Bungalow:   94/4 Taweewong Rd (also known as the Beach Road).  Phone: 66-76-340204/5.  Fax: 66-76-340206.  Email: tropica@loxinfo.co.th.  One reviewer reported no charge for guests, but security at a separate little hut at the end of the long walkway from main street will take girl's card, if he is at his post. Another reviewer reported a 300B per night joiner fee (unless the girl is registered to one's room), suggesting the 300B joiner fee may be something new (Nov 2000).  Reception is another separate hut, so all you do is walk down the driveway to your bungalow. All tile floors, ac and fan, shower (no tub), small refrig., etc. The bed is "platform style" and the mattress itself is hard.  Low season price 1000 to 1300 baht.  Double room 1500 baht.  Expect to pay more in the high season.  Important tip... Don't stay in the bungalows on the left hand side, because they are too close to the Banana Disco (which blasts music until after 5AM).

Phairin Beach Hotel  36-38 Thaveewong Road (also known as the Beach Road).  Tel: (66 76) 341-259, 340601, (66 01) 8914065; Fax: (66 76) 340522.  Email: lancini@ loxinfo.co.th.
Located along the (left) quiet side of Thaweewong Road.  The rooms have a bath & shower, a/c, in-room-safe, cable TV, mini-bar and a telephone.  The more expensive rooms (superior & deluxe) have a beach view.  I've read a strong recommendation for Phairin and it has NO joiner fees. The view of Patong Beach is purportedly very good, with no vendors, nor distractions/noise from cars, bikes etc.  Low season price about 1000-1500 baht; high season price can be as high as 3000 baht).  Check out their web price to determine what price applies to what dates/rooms, as they define 6 different periods of time during the season for different prices.

K-Hotel:  On  Rat-utit Rd.  Bar girl friendly (it is well known with the Soi Bangla bar girls).  Has a/c, bar fridge, cable TV (CNN & CNBC), and has a pool.  Very close to Soi Bangla.

Capricorn Bungalows:  next door to the K-Hotel and has access to its pool.

C&N Bungalows:   Phone (076) 341892-5, 340475.  Purportedly "a totally girl friendly" place (but with no pool).  Opposite Family Mansion (same soi - Rajutit Rd); email cnhotel@hotmail.com .  It recently opened a new wing with nw furniture and TV (Nov 2000).  The price is 1200 Baht (high season -edit) - purportedly cheaper than Expat Hotel.  A second reviewer [KOOLEX - Delphi/Sanuk] claimed he negotiated a 1000 Baht high season rate (600 baht in low season).  Old wing rooms are purportedly much nicer [than rooms in Expat Hotel - edit], they have a full-size bathtub, and satellite TV.  The room's phone wouldn't call out independently. There is also a payphone in the lobby. Hotel offers a free safe-deposit box (in the lobby?).

The Azzuro village: 107 rat-u-thit Rd Ph 076341811 - price: 800- 900 baht/nite (for a few days). No extras.

Aloha Villa - Very new (about 1 month old in Dec 2000) further from C&N to the North.  Purportedly new, clean, and modern. No bathtub. Secured entry-way into the parking area. Listed price is 2000 Baht; reviewer (KOOLEX - Delphi/Sanuk) after suggesting a one week stay was offered a proposed a 10% discount, and then the head recpetionish/manger dropped the price to 1500 baht when the reviewer noted to the Hotel staff that it was still much higher than what he was paying at Expat (1390Bt).  This was in peak tourist season.

Orchid Residence - on Soi San Sabai. Newly renovated rooms (Dec 2000). Purportedly (by SeattleKid on Delphi/Sanuk - Dec 2000) nicer than Expat Hotel.  Purportedly no guest fee or hassling the girls, the staff is very friendly. They don't have a pool on the premises though, but sell tickets for 60 Baht to a nearby pool that's very nice.  http://www.orchid-residence.de   Another web site at http://www.phuket.com/patong/orchid-residence/ (one reviewer noted they are do a minimum seven-night bookings during high season),

Other Hotels:  I've also seen recommendations for Barli Hotel (106/1-2 Thaweewong Road, Tel.66-76-341450), the Swiss Hotel (next door), Patong Palace (900baht; phone: 342 369 email: patongpalace@phuket.a-net.th) but no details on their suitability. I wouldn't stay there unless I learned more.

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SOME OTHER HOTEL TIDBITS ...

The above hotels are good if you want to bring a guest back, ... but unfortunately, I prefer a high standard of hotel, and that creates a problem, as they all want a joiner fee.  Hence one is into the territory where booking a room for two is probably essential.  And, as I mentioned above, even a room for two will NOT help you if you decide to drag 2 women back at the same time.

Thara Patong Hotel:  170 Taweewong Rd (also known as the Beach Rd).  66-76-342-026/7 or 66-76-340-135. Email: thara@phuket.ksc.co.th. A friend of mine stayed in the Thara Patong Hotel, on the Beach Road in 1998. It has nice rooms, a large pool, reasonable location, and it is in more of a 2 level motel type layout. He stated he had no problem discretely bringing back a guest. The rooms and the layout of the grounds were nice.  Prices vary depending on the room class & season,varying from 1300 to 2900 (low season) to 3700-7000(!) high season.

Holiday Inn:   52 Taweewong Rd (also known as the Beach Rd).  66-76-340-608/9. Email: holiday@sun.phuket.ksc.co.th.  In 1990 I stayed in the Holiday Inn, which hit me with a very large guest/joiner fee. I was able to avoid the fee on subsequent nights by giving my "date" an extra copy of my room key, and she would sneak in later in the evening (at which time I would reclaim my extra room key). I don't know how she was able to sneak past hotel security.  Today I am a bit wiser, and I would either book a double room, or I would find a different hotel and avoid this nonsense!

Patong Beach Resort Hotel:  124 Taweewong Rd.  66-76-340301/2.  Fax: 66-76-340541.  Email: patong@sun.phuket.ksc.co.th.  In 1995 I stayed in the Patong Beach Resort Hotel, right on the beach road (close to Banana Disco). Some of the rooms had a window(!) in the bathtub/shower, permitting viewing from the main room. To avoid a "joiner fee", I booked a room for two at this hotel (and as a result I didn't have to pay the guest/joiner fee). They did take the girls ID at the security gate. The first time I dragged a girl back, the front desk stopped me (and my "date") to confirm I had a room for two booked. The 2nd time I dragged a girl back, the front desk clerk commented (!?), while he was checking my room records, that I had a different lady with me!! I just smiled, nodded, and said yes, I had a new girlfriend.  After that, there were no more comments on who I had with me. But the ID card check/deposit was still required.

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Some Advice on Hotels

My advice is if you are on a low budget, then try either the Safari or the PS-Hotel.  If these hotels are not nice enough, then pay the extra for a double room in a Hotel with the location and the features you like.   Phuket has MANY wonderful hotels, but almost all of the Phuket hotels hire security guards specifically for the purpose of stopping male guests from bringing back women (to single rooms).  So book a double room, and save yourself the hastle with the security guard.

And my final advice is do NOT go with a package to Club Med or another hotel away from the action (if you are by yourself).  It is NOT worth the money you save, and afterward you will have regretted your decision.

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Watching Formula-1 race while staying in Phuket

When I stayed in Phuket I was able to watch the Formula-1 all the time.

I watched it using 2 methods. Usually the night before the F1 race I would visit some of the bars with big screens/TVs, and ask if they planned to show it the next day. In Phuket many of the bars/restaurants had a chalk board, and they would mark up which sports event they would be showing for the next few days.

I would show up a bit early before the event in case they changed their mind, and I would have a backup bar/restaurant checked out before (that had also advertised they would show the event).

Later on I got satellite TV to my beach hut, and didn't have to worry about trying to find it in the bars. I think Star TV (?) shows the F1, ... you can check their programs out on the Internet, and also check to see if your hotel gets Star TV. I'm going by memory, so I could be off on the name of the TV station.

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Transportation around Phuket:

The main ways to get around Phuket Island are taxi, TukTuk, motorcycle taxi, and bus.  Taxi is the fastest, but there are not many around.  TukTuk is reasonably fast, and it is the most common form of transportation.  Motorcycle taxi is cheap, but it takes a bit of courage to go racing up and around the hills and city streets when on the back of one of these.  And bus is the cheapest, but the schedule tends to terrible, and it is not recommended and unless you are on a tight budget, and have lots of time.

You can also rent your own vehicle, and explore the island for a few days.  Unless you are VERY familiar with a motorbike, I recommend renting a car (and not a motorbike), mainly because the car has more metal around to protect one if there is an accident.  Phuket has an incredible number of motorcycle deaths every year.  I've read about (and known) too many falangs who have rented a motorbike, and then wiped out on their bike with their young Thai girlfriend. If you survive, the physical scars can stay with you (and the girl) for life.

However, on the other hand, if you know bikes well, and if you are comfortable with driving on the LEFT HAND SIDE of the road, then there is a massive assortment of motorbikes along the Beach Road in Patong Beach that you can rent.  And it can be a real blast driving a large motorbike, up and down the Phuket hills, and around all the curvy roads, with a stunning looking Thai bar-girl clinging to your back.  The large expensive bikes can cost around 500 baht/day (or more).

VIA Rent A Car - based in Patong Beach
In the past, I have rented from VIA car rental.  They rent these incredibly small asian (?) cars, for a pretty inexpensive price, even during the high season.  They have met me at the airport with the car, although it was hit and miss, as 50% of the time (when my flight was delayed) their Thai representative was not there.  Mai-pen rai!

Alternatively, one can rent a Suzuki Jeep for 500/600B-day (low season price, I believe), available everywhere along the Beach Road in Patong Beach.

And finally, I recently read a Delphi/Sanuk post about someone who recommended paying for a driver(!).  Rather an exhorbant way to get around, but if one wants a guide, and transportation, it may be worth considering.  Here are some extracts from the recommendation:From: ROSS99; Feb-1, 2000; 12:00 pm. "Anyone who is interested in hiring a driver while in Phuket can call Aod ( pronounced odd) at 01-893-7153 or try 01-272-0231.   He is decent at English and good driver and very patient. He will charge 800 baht for 6 hours and 1400- 1600 baht for 12 hours. He will pick up at the airport also which is a nice way to arrive. I only used him once so I would call just before departure to verify he will be there just in case." Ross.

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Quiet Beaches

For a quiet stretch on the beach, the beaches south of Patong, such as Kata Noi Beach and NaiHarn Beach are probably the best.  If one wants real seclusion, NaiHarn is my favourite. It is about a 30 minute car drive from Patong Beach. Kata Noi is only about 15 minutes away from Patong Beach by car. And a small bay between Patong and Karon (called Emerald Bay) is nice for snorkeling.

I had it pointed out to me that swimming during the off season can be VERY dangerous, as many farang (and Thai) swimmers have drown because of their underestimating the current of the sea and the strength of the waves, especially on Karon Beach.  So exercise caution when enjoying the waves.

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Safety/Tourist Police

Phuket is pretty safe, although, unfortunately, even in a safe place like Phuket, trouble can happen.  The Thai police are there not only to help the locals, but also to help the tourists who have been wronged.  This includes helping male tourists who have been robbed by a bar girl.  Don't let the fact that you intended to have sex with such a girl detour you from going to the police, if she committed a serious offence.  In particular, the Tourist Police can be very helpful.  If you have been robbed, drugged, or had some other criminal activity done to you by one of the locals (or tourist/foreigners), try and see if the Tourist Police will help you.  I've read many stories where the Tourist Police were quite helpful.  The Tourist Police station is located on the Beach Road.

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Links

Here is a good site on Phuket to visit:
http://www.trv.net/

Its night life section, in particular, is very good:
http://www.trv.net/trv98/nightlife/nightlife.htm

General Tourist info (the web master is good in keeping this site up to date):
http://www.phuket-info.com

Phuket Entertainment:
http://phuket-travel.org/phuket/entertainment/agogo.htm

Local entertainment gossip:
http://www.rockhardphuket.com/

Tourist site:
http://www.phuket.com
They have a nice hotel list for Patong Beach: http://www.phuket.com/hotels/patong1.htm

Phuket Gazette
http://www.phuketgazette.net

Phuket Maps
http://www.phuket-maps.com

Discount Price for Hotels.
http://www.asiatravelmart.com
(Don't use the "QuickFind" function on that site, as it misses many hotels. Instead click Hotel (on the upper left) and then select the country as "Thailand" and the city as "Phuket", and then click "Display Hotels". Lots of good prices for Phuket Hotels will pop up.)

Another site with Patong Beach Hotel information:
http://www.highclass-adventure.com/phuket/hotelpatong.htm

Phuket Traveller
http://www.phuket-traveller.com/phuket/index.htm

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